Good Parenting Or Just Hypocrisy Disguised?

My two young boys were on spring break recently and we went from 60 degree sunny weather to clouds and snow, so naturally there was a ton of Lego Star Wars and Indiana Jones being played on the XBox 360. The boys have gotten pretty good at it too, though it concerns me a little with how quickly they can become obsessed with video games. You know, the kind of obsession that has them waking up thinking of the game, ignoring mom and dad calling them just to play a little longer and inadvertently foregoing food and water. That kind of thing.

To combat them melting away into the TV for hours at a time, my wife and I have enacted some pretty stringent rules regarding gaming. First rule is no games during the school week. That is non-negotiable at this point. We may eventually open it up slightly for my 1st grader where if he finishes his homework, practices piano and does his chores he can play games for 30 minutes, but right now it is staying as is.

Our second rule used to be no gaming unless it was with a parent. We've relaxed on that quite a bit since they have gotten better at playing by themselves and don't fight with each other as much, which was why we had it in place to begin with. Boys will be boys but a referee can be needed on many occasions.

The third rule is a time limit when they do play. Too much gaming makes them cranky, which in turn make my wife crabby, which ultimately makes me grumpy. Best to avoid that situation from the get-go.

Overall I feel these are pretty straightforward and common sensical rules that help me maintain balance with the kids and their gaming pastime. However I cannot help but think of the odd position I am in as a parent where there are black and white restrictions on my kids sitting in front of a game for too long but I can easily grind out hours without blinking an eye. I suppose the apples truly don't fall far from the tree.

You see, I am a long time, self-described gamer. In addition to PC gaming throughout the years, I have owned every generation of console since the Atari 2600. I successfully used the "video games help with hand-eye coordination" reasoning in getting my grandmother to by me a NES. I was completely addicted to NHL '94 and Pavel Bure was my MAN. There were more games than I could count on my PS2 and the 360 has given me hours upon hours of fun. Everquest took over my life for years, literally.

Ah but then came the kids and with them new perspectives and responsibilities and a lot less free time. Now I do not spend waking moments thinking of my next gaming session. Sure I go through times when I may play every night, but then I can just as easily stop for a few months. At this point in my life, gaming for me is a relaxing, enjoyable, interactive experience and one I much prefer over watching TV, but I am no longer completely married to it. I suppose this is the balance I am trying to achieve with my children.

I find myself viewing what is by most accounts a "hypocritical" position on video games, with the understanding that restrictions for my kids are more about guiding them toward interests other than gaming, much like winkers on a horse, rather than denying them access to a hobby, which technically I am doing. The way I see it, I also spend my time working, doing chores, snowboarding, biking, going to the gym, seeing friends, etc., and my boys need to experience a plethora of different activities as well. I just want to make sure they are thinking of other options besides video games to fill up their spare time.

Looking at the results, it is pretty amazing how quickly they can absorb themselves in a new activity once they become engaged with it. As an example, once they got in the routine of no gaming during the school week they began making stories and drawing pictures instead of turning on the TV. Some of the stuff they created were amazing, like full paper suits that I added string to so they could wear. Others, like what came out of "scissor time", was quite creative but left a god awful mess (think confetti covering my kitchen and living room).

All that said, as much as I justify the rules in my head it all still feels a bit hypocritical, even if I know it is the right thing to do for them. Don’t you just love being a parent?