All Star Comics Vol. 11

1948-1952



Here is another trade I picked up off the library shelf somewhat randomly and decided to read simply because it fit roughly into my timeline.

One could make an argument that All Star Comics Vol. 11 jump-started my blogging hobby.

Oh sure, I posted blogs here and there. And sure, it was a fellow Gentleman who had been aggressively blogging and petitioned me to make the Quorum a reality.

But All Star Comics Vol. 11 was SO DUMB that I wrote in my Goodreads review, "One day I will write a blog dedicated to writing about how dumb All Star comics is".

This is that blog.

All-Star Comics was a series that started in the 40's during the formative years of DC comics. It is notable for the introduction of Wonder Woman and the Justice Society, the first-ever superhero team.

The trade All Star Comics Volume 11 covers the last issues featuring the Justice Society before the series gave way to the more popular western genre. They were overseen by editor Julius Schwartz. Schwartz doesn't quite have the reputation or resume of Marvel rival Stan Lee, but he was responsible for building the DC Universe as we know it now and most notably was responsible for helping bring Batman back to a more serious and shadowy crime fighter in the sixties.

When going back to read comics written before one was born, it is important to suspend the modern graphic novel state of mind. No one worried about continuity in the fifties. Adult content was simply not allowed in mainstream publishing. Art and writing weren't too experimental and the primary readership of comics was a demographic more likely to use them as coloring books than to save them.

So it was with an open mind that I borrowed this hard cover archive of golden oldies from the library and flipped it open to enjoy some old timey stories of the first superhero team, the powerful predecessors and inspiration of the modern Justice League, the groundbreaking travelers of space and time before space and time-hopping was hip, the Justice Society!

What a pisser. I believe that even as a nine-year old in 1950, I probably would have been compelled to write a letter to the editor complaining about the art and writing and demanding my ten cents back. To collect these stories and make money off of their reprints as anything other than historical curiosity is a serious insult to my intelligence. Oh, it's not all bad, I guess... But mostly it is. Take a look:


Yeah, this is exciting already.


Look, even the general public is bored of the Society. Their own friends can't wait to get out of their presence. Granted, they're in a hurry to go "do it", but still...


There is a redeeming fact about these old stories: They apparently provided a lot of inspiration for the writers of the TV show Lost.


Now, I'm no prude but I do want to warn you that the male members of the Society have very open-minded relationships, especially for the late forties, and I guess their superpowers and celebrity status allow them to be pretty open about it. Good for them.


My response here wouldn't be "A- a criminal!", it would be more like, "A- a gay clown!" I guess the villians are into tight clothes and same-sex relations as well. I'm not judging, it just seems like a weird choice to instill fear in your victims.


One neat aspect of the All Star Comics is that Schwartz often went out of his way to make sure that the science of the science-fiction was often backed up with educational tidbits for the kids. I like that, it's cool. Except for a few facts that maybe are off a bit: Like the fact that all hurricanes center around casinos.


Also, the heroes themselves are pretty dense for a group that includes several scientists. Take the example above. While investigating a mysterious race of Diamond Men, the Society attends this presentation by their spokesman and completely fail to connect the dots that the only attendee COULD BE A DIAMOND MAN. Despite his odd-looking DIAMOND FACE.
Side-note: Why is Hawkman sitting apart from the group? I understand his wings making chairs awkward, but he seems to be in dire need of going to the bathroom, and is slowly scooting his chair to the door in hopes that no one will notice as he dashes out the door to a restroom- or a flyby of a passing car.


Well, we've established that the Flash is a smart one. But just as Green Lantern tries to get in on the smart train by proposing a plan, all he has is a bee impression? That's not going to help, Dude.


Remember when the bell tower scene in Spider-Man 3 seemed like it was ripping off Tim Burton's Batman movie? Well, that was just ripping off All Star Comics 51.


"But shouldn't we capture the villian, now that we've found him, Hawkman?"
"Oh yeah, it's just that.. Well, I didn't know he'd be so dashing!"


Isn't Wonder Woman twenty times stronger than Hawkman? Oh, wait, I see... I think she's enjoying their attack. A little too much, methinks.


And here I thought Flash was the smart one. I could do a dozen different things to these hypnotized guys to stop their forced march, but I'll show off and build a bridge instead so they won't drown. Clever! While Black Canary patted him on the back afterwards, the soldiers continued on marching into a landfill where they fell to their deaths.


The stupidity abounds. You saw a guy walking around with a revolver and weren't at all alarmed? And you caught a detailed description of the gun, but NO IDEA what the gunman looked like? Things were different pre-911 I guess. This reporter wasted two panels of the comic with his lack of profiling abilities.


I'm actually a bit speechless about how to describe or mock this time machine. Or explain why it tantalizes the Justice Society. Best left unsaid.
Aha, but look! Mysterious numbers on the mysterious machine! I'm on to you, writers of Lost.
And the last panel here, where the Atom figures out that the machine eats guns and the Flash just happens to be carrying around a paper weight... What the hell, man?!


I love this full page spread! In this scene Green Lantern has actually time-traveled to the past to visit an ancient but far more advanced civilization. It looks like 2000 A.D., right? That's a pretty crazy guess at what earth would look like in 2050, much less 2000. At least they got the fact that Spanish is the dominant language right.
"I know you've never seen a gun before.." These people have rocketships. God, Green Lantern is a DOUCHE.


In this scene, we learn that the villian has a drawer literally full of guns, but prefers to use his muffler gun to shoot noxious fumes in the general direction of the superheroes. Good plan.


Despite the goody-two shoes nature of the JSA, this a prime example of the ruthless nature in which they excel at getting their enemies to commit suicide. They may be a bunch of dumb gays, but don't F with them- they will KILL YOU and then stand around moping that they were powerless to stop you.


I don't know about you, but I actually like quite a few of my co-workers. Nonetheless, I still don't really want to hang around with them on my free time. Much less at the circus. Much less in costume.


The absurdity of this circus speaks for itself. I mostly scanned this page for the weirdness of the mutual thought bubble. Is it true that they were all thinking the same thing? I don't mean a situation where you say, "Dude, I was just thinking the same thing!" I mean, they were all thinking the same monologue? And did they mutually choose to let Dr. Midnite finish the thought? The more I read these comics the more they really bother me.


This set of panels really angers me, in fact. Someone hits your prime witness in the head right in front of you, and NO ONE DOES A THING. Hey, we all have superpowers, but too bad we're all too dumb to try and catch the villian.
"We've got to know what he's saying! Oh, nevermind, it's just the alphabet."


"Pretend we're bees! They'll get bored when we don't produce honey!" OH, GL, you and your bee fixation.


Yeah, the JSA are pretty dopey, but if you mess with them they will NUKE YOUR PLANET. And make it look like an accident. This is the only reason you should respect the Justice Society of America.


Actually, their harsh treatment of criminals is a little hard to understand when most of their enemies are helpless old men, homosexual performers, and cute Disney characters.


Okay, I was joking before about the writers of Lost ripping off All Star Comics, but now I'm serious. This is ridiculous.


This panel is a lot funnier if you imagine the audience member's voice dripping with sarcasm. How else does that sentence make sense when what the JSA is doing is sending and reading cablegrams?


At least I feel a bit better knowing that all crimefighters are morons.


First of all- genius detective work, WW. Second of all, Wonder Woman's Robot Plane has Siri? That is so cool.


There you have it. The old-school Justice Society has a few strengths and cool points, but when the chips are down, even the strongest super heroes of the golden age can be taken down by a thug with a small billy club.