China White And Egg Whites

Aging rock icons get knighted in England.  Sir Mick and Sir Paul and so forth and so on...chip chip, cheerio!  These seasoned frontmen have proudly joined Pierce Brosnan and Jane Seymour as celebrities that the Queen thinks are the bee's knees.  I'm pretty sure they're allowed to borrow Prince Charles' sweaters now.

But ripened rockers from New York just all end up on the business end of a shot of wheat grass juice with a Metamucil chaser.  From CBGB to Cialis.  From China White all night long to egg white omelets at the break of dawn.  The wild side has been walked on....and now features custom molded shoe orthotics.

"Lou Reed brings style and clarity to your contacts".  That's the euphemistic tagline that Reed uses to pitch his own iPhone app that magnifies the font on your goddamn handset so that you don't have to pull out your reading glasses and look like the aging diva that you never imagined you'd ever evolve into.  Seriously, check out http://www.loureed.com/louzoom/ .  It's a $2 app and all proceeds go towards helping ol' Lou maintain his stable of grass fed organic leather pants.

 David Johansen and the new/old New York Dolls are out touring this summer.  They're the opening act for Motley Crue and Posion.  The New York Dolls became punk rock legends when they literally stole rock-n-roll back from the Osmonds in 1971.  And Brett Michaels is stealing it all back.  Rose, meet thorn.

Speaking of Roses.  Axl is suing Activision for its blatant use of Slash imagery in Guitar Hero III's version of Welcome To The Jungle.  Never mind that Slash's band, Velvet Revolver, is on Activision's payroll for the game.  But Axl thinks that the "Slash" character is part-n-parcel to his G-n-R concept and wants Activision to feel his serpentine.  Of course, Rose gave permission for the song to be used; but is now claiming that the company "fraudulently induced" him into allowing the company to use the song.  You can have anything you want; but you better not take it from me.  What's hilarious is: Activision couldn't sell the damn game anyway.  On July 1, they shelved the brand, due to slumping sales.  CEO, Bobby Kotick pointed to their failure to deliver "an innovative experience" to the market.  Which, coincidentally, also sums up Chinese Democracy.