Showing posts with label Two Cents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Two Cents. Show all posts

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Hunters And Gatherers.

Discussing the distinctions and discrepancies of the genders is taboo.  Seriously, just shut up about it.  Your opinion is poisonous and our society proudly wields this secret inequality as an ethical sword against the sexist moral decrepitude of less civilized cultures.  Women and men are exactly the same in every way.

For instance: women cannot be better CEO’s.  It would be sexist to say such a thing.  Their ability to value justice over victory does not position them to have an advantageous skillset over men in this regard.  It’s ridiculous to suppose that, when given the opportunity to make decisions, with the benefit of advisement resources, and the time to sit down and carefully measure and consider all facets of a pending predicament…the fairer sex has a better track record at making the successful call.  The homerun swinging male CEO’s are just as prudent.  The rash of golden parachuting corporate profiteering CEO's, that has widened the popularly publicized divide between Wall St. and Main St., have largely been greedy white dudes.  But this is just a silly coincidence.  Men handle power with poise and grace.  This is social fact.  Do not argue. 

And men cannot be more effective COO’s.  Women are just as capable of directing the assembly line minutia of the daily grind.  Quick wits and the emotional agility to recover from temporary failures do not position males to succeed in the day-to-day management of an organization.  When a rapidly changing environment requires stability and an even keeled demeanor…you can expect a woman to do just as well as a man.  What kind of mid-century pig would suggest otherwise?

Our culture dismisses the notion that women and men can and should play different roles.  And so we lie to ourselves.  Every happily married man I know, myself included, understands how to roll with this modern family prevarication.  The wife is clearly the CEO of the home; but the husband wears the title of “head of household”.  Who are we fooling?  We know that we’re all happier when we help support the direction set forth by the CEO.  But this arrangement damages our iconic masculinity.  And so we put on a show and overcompensate for this loss of control.  Maybe it’s a mild form of bravado flag flying like flatulence or fantasy football…or maybe it’s a full blown midlife crisis.  But we do not accept the role of 2nd in charge very well.  Even if we do a pretty good job at pretending that we do.

And the husband is much better at dealing with the daily bullshit and maintenance of the family circle.  We are the COO’s.  But our wives aren’t willing/able/ready to fully give up the idea that they are still homemaker’s.  Don’t believe me?  Just take a look at what magazines are laying around the house.  Every wife secretly wants to be her grandmother and she keeps this romantic notion alive via a magazine subscription.  Women do not accept that the male management style of “not sweating the small stuff” as responsible nor thoughtful.  The guilt that they carry, for bringing home a paycheck while somebody else raises their kids, is sometimes too much to bear.  And so we all agree to pretend like women are mostly responsible for the daily details….and men pull the trigger on the big decisions.  We are the hunters.  They are the gatherers.  

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Call Me Dr. Strangelove

I can load chore lists and required social appearances and work related events and all sorts of absolutely necessary horseshit onto my iPhone calendar.  And I can set alarms to remind me to care terribly about all the important things that must get done. 

And my life is 100% more organized. 

And I am happier and healthier and I’m fairly sure that I’m probably going to live 5 or 6 years longer than originally expected: now that I’ve solved my all of my organization difficulties with this hunk of electronic gadgetry.


And I no longer wonder about things the way I used to.  The puzzles that used to keep me up at night are now solved, filed, forgotten.  I now lack no information.  What country exports the most caper berries?  Denmark does.  Who holds the world record for the longest moustache?  I have no idea; but I’m not worried about it because, if I wanted to know, I could.  Currently, I don’t care who has the longest moustache.  But I may later.  I’m not worried about it.

Having the Information Superhighway in my pants pocket has allowed me to stop worrying and learn to love the bomb.  Call me Dr. Strangelove.

But this new shortage of wonder has left me wondering about the plausible benefits of wonderment that I may be losing out on nowadays.  Are there benefits to unsatisfied curiosity?  Maybe not.  For instance: It is certain that stark nudity is never as enticing as lingerie; but, ultimately, satin will never be as satisfying as skin.  And you can’t judge a book by its cover.  And of course, curiosity actually killed a cat.  And only the raw power of satisfaction brought it back.  Curiosity may only be useful if it not left open-ended.

According to Australian author Julia Barnard, in a 2007 article entitled Curiosity - What it is, Why it Matters and How to Develop it, the benefits of curiosity include:

By being curious, you will be:

• More open minded

• Enjoying the world around you

• Excited about what is going on in your life

• Increasing your awareness of the world

• Enhancing your chances of experiencing flow and therefore happiness

• Learning new things

• Building your confidence

• Improving your job performance

It does seem, that in each of Barnard’s examples, it may be particular answers gathered, albeit due to the impetus afforded by curiosity, rather than the curiosity itself, that has resulted in a certain benefit.

So basically she’s totally wrong.  Or maybe she’s right in Australia.  Sinks drain counter-clockwise in the Land Down Under, they smear Vegemite on everything and kids drink beer for breakfast.  Backwards weirdos: the lot of them.  I only sound bitter because I wish I could drink beer for breakfast.  My iPhone has not cured jealousy.

My point is that the security of available knowledge has taken the place of the irresolute anxiety that I used to suffer from.  I don’t feel like I have to know everything; because I can find out anything whenever I need/want to.  And this has made me happier and possibly even more likeable.

How you like me now?  Wait, don’t answer that: I will use Google analytics to measure daily page impressions before and after this post.  Life has been quantified for me and I couldn’t be more pleased.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Privatization of National Healthcare: A Good Idea!

Imagine if your car insurance carrier was required to insure your car: regardless of the fact that you drove it off a cliff last year.


Geico would no longer be able to afford to keep lizards and Neanderthals on the payroll. But this is exactly what the new health care bill is mandating.  No citizen can be denied coverage; even if they drove off a cliff.  The government will achieve this feat by privatizing a federally mandated program.  What a concept!

According to the Congressional Budget Office, the new bill will cost $940 billion over the next 10 years.  And it will cover 32 million currently uninsured citizens. This equals $244.79 per person, per month . . . for the next ten years.  That sounds reasonable to me.  Mind you, this $250 will be going to private insurance companies to offset the risks inherited when they agree to take on “high risk” people, who had previously been considered, un-insurable.

But I’d rather pay my portion of tax to help my fellow un-insurable citizen get covered by a private carrier than to expect the government to administrate his/her healthcare.  Insurance companies are good at not spending too much money.  Famous for it really.  Whereas the government buys $1000 hammers.  If I’m gonna have to ante into the insurance pool: I want my money being spent wisely.

Imagine if corporations administrated welfare benefits.  Fraud, abuse and waste would be eliminated in short order.  Corporations guide themselves by the basic principles of economics.  And controlling wastefulness and inefficiencies is the core value of modern business.  Privatization of government programs makes a lot of sense to me.